October is party month in our household, with 2 birthdays on the same day, and our anniversary. I find myself more reflective on this month because it represents a huge turning point in my life. I became a wife and a mother in this month, and nothing has changed me more than these 2 roles. We just celebrated 12 years of marriage, and honestly, I look back in awe. We knew that we loved each other, and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, but we were so clueless as to what that really meant. We both walked into marriage so broken and with so much baggage, I cannot believe we made it this far. I think back to the girl that walked down that aisle and I want to wrap her in an enormous hug and tell her that she’s in for the ride of her life. Marriage can be such a roller coaster, with exhilarating highs and crushing lows. Yet it is so beautiful, and sacred. It is daily committing to loving another, and dying to self.
A friend asked me what I thought were the keys to a successful marriage, after 12 years. Here are my thoughts on this, based on my experience.
- Stay connected. Set aside date nights, send each other messages through the day and leave notes. The hustle of jobs, parenting and just life has a way of sending a couple in such different directions if you are not intentional to stay connected. Laugh often. Rekindle your romance.
- Conflict resolution. The one thing that is guaranteed in a relationship is conflict. We were both so determined not to be angry yellers that we often would leave issues unresolved, and allow them to fester. We had to learn to address things quickly and stick it through to the end until we reached an understanding. The longer you let something stay unresolved, the more the issues grow. Apologize freely! The words “I’m sorry” are such a balm to a hurting soul. Forgive often.
- Fight fair. No name calling, disrespectful words, and divorce threats. Fight to bring resolution and not to “win”.
- Covenant friends. Surround yourself with friends who care more about your marriage than they do about you, individually. For us, these friends have saved our marriage so many times. They have been our cheerleaders, our referees, they have laughed and cried with us, and have made our marriage so much stronger!
- Christ at the center. I know that this might not be the popular opinion, but I believe it wholeheartedly. When I buy an appliance, I read the manual because the makers have insight that I do not have, on how to use the device. The same is true with marriage. Since God created the institution of marriage, and we should look to Him for guidance.
All this to say, I’m so grateful that my hubby asked me to marry him, and that I said yes. I am so grateful that we are still here, holding hands and learning through the joys and the pains life throws our way. I pray that God gives me another 50 years with this hunk of mine.
Now let’s talk skillet lasagna because it is life changing stuff! Seriously, you get all the flavors of lasagna, without breaking lasagna noodles, layering your ingredients and washing like 20 dishes. And… it’s ready in 30 minutes! This has been on our regular rotation for 3 months now, and the peeps at home love it. I took it to our marriage small group a week ago, and it was a huge hit. You can use any type of pasta, but I like to use one that has holes and ridges, like a penne or a rigatoni, to soak up the yummy sauce. The step to broil is optional, but I like having the cheesy top melted, crispy and browned. If you don’t have a skillet that can hold everything, use a pot. This is perfect for a weeknight meal, coupled with a salad or some steamed veggies.
- 1 pound of pasta (I use penne or rigatoni)
- 1 pound sausage, casing removed
- 1 onion, diced
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 teaspoons dried basil
- 2 teaspoons dried parsley
- ¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper
- ½ cup broth or water
- 2 jars of pasta sauce (24-ounce jars)
- 1 cup ricotta cheese
- 1 cup mozzarella cheese +1/4 cup to sprinkle on top
- salt to taste
- Boil pasta according to package instructions
- In a high rimmed pan or skillet, brown sausage. Once it has browned, add the onion and cook for 3 minutes. Add garlic and the herbs and cook for a minute.
- Deglaze pan with the broth. Add the pasta sauce and bring to a simmer. Cook for 5 minutes. Add the ricotta and 1 cup mozzarella. Add salt, if needed. Stir until everything is combined.
- Toss in the pasta. Sprinkle with ¼ cup mozzarella, and broil in oven for about 3 minutes until the cheese is melted.
- Enjoy
Weekly reflection:
Here is one of my favorite verses about relationships.
Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Maey
This blog post is a home run! Love the advice for marriages! So true how we all enter into it so clueless…
Then…that Lasagna recipe…thats dinner tonight!..Thanks!
Sonya Wadsworth
Love this blog and love you! You have a gift for speech!!
The recipe looks amazing!
Kari
Thanks, Sonya.Love y’all!!!
Jerome
Beautiful blog and recipe mumz
Kari
Thanks, J!
Pauline Kago
Peeeeeeople!!!! I am trying to find the words to describe how good this recipe is. I simply can’t! I usually do a happy dance when I hit a home run on recipes and make all kinds of mmmmmmmhhh mmmmh noises. My dear friend, this is one for the books. Y’all have to try it. I just made it and it is aaaaaamazing!
Kari
Pauline, yaaaayyy!!!! I’m so glad that you tried it and loved it. I appreciate you popping back in to review.
Mary Ogola
AWESOME! I think is the best way to describe how amazing this recipe is! Love It! Love It! Love It!!!
Kari
Mary….Thanks for checking back in to review! I so appreciate the feedback.
Kimberlyn Kimani
This was definitely a big hit in my family. They are requesting to have it again later on in the week. Thank you for your inspiration and recipes.
Kari
Happy dance moment, Kim! I’m so glad your family enjoyed it as much as we do around here!